sin2+cos2
When can we finally meet?
Beast-Man: Up to you.
I'll come to Taipei when school's over.
I'll be waiting.
My real name is Chou...Tien-Tsai.
Tien-Tsai
Kevin
Do you like Taipei so far?
It's nice to be a student.
Really?
But I have exams every day.
So many of them!
As many as boyfriends?
Actually, I've never been in love.
How come? You're cute as shit.
Really?
Coke please!
- Yu! - Tien!
When did you arrive?
This morning.
This morning!
How are you?
What?
You look... you look so...
I'm not the bumpkin I was 2 years ago.
Stop fooling around.
Great song, let's dance!
Move to the beat!
New boyfriend?
Is he your new boyfriend?
No no... is my taste that bad?
He's Tien, my buddy from junior high.
Haven't seen him in 3 years. This is CC.
CC!
Give the country boy a break.
Playboy No.1- Bai Tieh Nan!
By the way, where is "it"?
The lucky condom I got you in Japan.
I haven't...
You used it?
No...
I'm still...
Still?
A virgin.
Virgin!
VlRGlN!
You thirsty?
A man like that orders whiskey,
not tap water.
A new flavor and brand every day.
He's not looking for innocence.
I don't care anyway.
Kiddo, you don't care about Bai?
I despise people who toy with love.
Even if he's Mr. Bai Tieh Nan.
Who is his mysterious "man"?
Wanna stay in Taipei,
First, learn to gossip, got it?
You always work this late?
I'm used to it.
What are you going to do now?
Get a summer job.
So, are you planning to stay with me?
Where else?
Come in.
Help yourself!
Yu, you've really made it!
Whatever.
Good morning, sleepyhead.
It's me, I'm still in Greece, getting ready to go get some dinner.
I wish you could be here with me.
But don't worry!
I'll leave an empty seat next to me just for you, OK?
I miss you!
Coke or beer?
Coke.
Here.
What are these?
"l love you" in different languages.
My man gets tired of hearing the
same 3 words, so he wants me to
say it in different languages.
I do whatever he asks.
That was him on the phone
He's got a sexy voice.
It's "je t'aime".
So, tell me about your bad date.
With your lnternet friend?
Kevin
Kevin...
Not another gay called Kevin.
Tell me everything!
My real name is Chou Tien-Tsai.
Tien-Tsai
Stop, stop, stop! Next topic.
I have exams every day.
So many of them!
Cut! Next subject.
I've never been in love...
Next... next... next!
Come to my place!
"Come to my place"?
Start from here.
I have some hot DVDs at home.
I have DVDs too.
But you live too far away.
So...?
Don't you want to...?
To...?
Have sex?
Sex?
I don't think you've heard me properly,
I've never been in love.
I said "sex", not "love".
I never fall in love either.
Sex?
Sex.
But we don't even know each other.
If you're going to be so stuck up about it
why don't we just "fuck", "get laid"?
whatever you want.
But this way...
You're no better than an animal?
You're no better than an animal!
That's why I'm the "Beast-Man".
Mr. Beast...
I believe in making love
only with my true love
in order to be happy.
Have you found true love so far?
Not yet.
So...
Let's become friends first!
Friends first?
You've been watching too much TV!
And what's this?
Are you a fossil?
Fossil?
"Love is a kind of Faith"
This book's from the Jurassic age!
It's my favorite book.
What you really need is this.
Playboy No.1...
You still awake?
I had that dream again last night.
Not again!
What is it this time?
After the History questions
what did he ask this time?
Trigonometry.
Oh my God! You actually study in your sleep.
That's not the point.
The point is
your dream guy doesn't exist.
Okay... Even if he does
you'll never see his face.
Goodnight.
Goodnight!
Night night!
My school buddy Tien- Virgin.
Fitness coach Alan- Wandering Cock.
What do you want?
A summer job.
No problem, I'll take care of it.
Sit.
What!
Pee.
Need to pee.
You stay!
You've seen the target.
Tien, male, likes to read,
Favorite book:
"Love is a Kind of Faith"
My mission?
To deflower him!
How much time do I have?
24 hours.
What am l, an instant sperm bank?
Can you do it or not?
Of course I can.
Excuse me?
I'm here to fix the toilet.
Mister, what's your name?
Taipei Plumber.
I'm wet.
Dry me...
...off!
I know you want it too...
Chou Tien-Tsai!
You know my name?
He's gone?
How was it?
Who'd have guessed - he had read it too
We reviewed all the best chapters.
Tien, you didn't do it?
You didn't do it!
Yu, you set me up?
You set me up!
I paid him!
You played me!
Hello!
Ray!
Why not? You can't come here?
Oh, I see.
I need a kiss now.
Yes, give me a kiss now.
Yes, now.
Now.
Now!
"Sarang-hae yo".
That is "l love you" in Korean.
I love you.
Hi, I'm Shaun.
Hi, Shaun.
Excuse me.
No water in the shower.
No water? Let me check.
Careful.
Sorry.
Let me help.
Richard, you ready to go?
Sorry.
You may think I'm jealous...
But I'm not.
If you could do one night stands...
But you can't.
If this wasn't your first time...
But it is.
Bai Tieh Nan...
Really? But he's really...
not too bad.
Tell him the truth about that playboy!
Who, me?
Of course you, who else?
Let me think.
It was a dark and stormy night in 1973
and a baby Prince Charming was born...
Get to the point!
In the beginning,
Bai was an innocent boy.
When he was 17
he met another prince charming: Jay.
Jay!
Don't interrupt!
It was Love at first sight.
Heaven and earth moved for them.
Soon they fell head over heels.
Then Jay wanted to break up.
Why?
Because of one little word.
"C'est la vie"
Wait a second!
You said they broke up over one word
but "c'est la vie" is 3 words!
Shut up, I'm not finished!
Turns out Jay dumped Bai for a rich guy
and that one little word was named Jun!
To get back at Jay, Bai seduced Jun.
First rivals, then lovers.
He did it just to punish Jay.
But later, Bai changed.
His heart died.
He stopped believing in love.
Nobody can ever make him love again!
So many beautiful youths were
destroyed by his pitch black heart!
Now you know.
You changed shifts.
I don't know how to say this
I've had this problem for a long time
Before, I didn't mind...
but now...
Mr. Bai, I think you're in love.
In love?
Yes.
You can have sex
but you're afraid to kiss.
That's rather peculiar.
Let's do a little exercise.
Exercise?
Here's a mirror.
Does it have to be this big?
The treatment requires it.
Starting now
practice kissing into the mirror
You can pretend it's anybody.
Right now?
Well done.
Who did you see in the mirror?
Myself.
You're not playing with me, right?
Many patients have done this exercise.
Really?
Yes.
When?
Before they fell in love.
Yu?
Yu!
It's his "man", isn't it?
Keep your voice down.
Who lS he?
I know this guy!
It was a cool afternoon
in May 2002...
Get to the point!
Hurry!
Here we are at Shalung beach,
once we go in
I don't know you, ok?
You're on your own.
If you get lucky and want to leave
just send me a message.
bye bye!
Sorry!
What?
Hurry up!
You can't just abandon me!
You promised not to be clingy!
Clingy?
What do you want?
You promised sisterhood!
So?
At least show me around once.
You said it.
Once.
Give me your hands!
Turn around!
That's it?
CC!
I'm fine, thank you. And you?
I'm fine, thanks.
I'm Ray. And you?
And you?
Still Ray. And you?
Are you alone?
Are you?
You?
Yeah...
Yeah?
Yeah.
Me too.
That's OK. I mean I'm kinda used of being alone, you know.
But still, kinda nice to find somebody who I could not to be alone with.
Me?
Yeah, you.
Yeah!
Ok?
Ok!
We started going out.
We had faith that true love
can overcome any distance.
Me?
Yeah...
Then what happened?
Like all long-distance relationships
he got so busy with work.
It was hard to keep in touch.
I started having doubts.
If I couldn't reach him
I got insecure and depressed.
In the end, we both got so tired.
Showtime!
Mr. Bai, did the exercise help?
Not really...
I see.
According to rules, for the next level
you need a body.
A body?
No!
- You... - You...
- You go first. - You go first.
What do you want to say?
Just say it. Young people these days.
What are you doing later?
He asks what you're doing later.
My buddy's heartbroken, I'm going home.
Huh?
He's heartbroken and going home.
Heartbroken?
Young man, give me your card.
What? I'm too old for you?
Of course not.
He wants you to call him.
Here's a tip, young man.
A broken heart is easy to steal.
Don't miss your chance.
bye bye!
You're back?
You're alive!
I've finally realized...
men are all...
... shit!
Whatcha doing?
Nothing.
Hi, Jeremy.
It's Jimmy.
Sorry, Jimmy.
Tommy.
It's Tom.
Tom...
You didn't call me.
I was going to call...
But...?
But I didn't...
Because?
Because my friend was sad...
And...?
And he says men are shit.
Then...
I lost your card.
Are you off work now?
I'll drive you home.
I got my scooter.
Keys!
Let's go?
Let's go.
I've heard a lot of gossip about you.
Really?
Is it true?
Which part?
For example...
I have a buddy too but he doesn't follow me to the shower.
Are you jealous?
No... of course not...
Wait a second!
Sorry.
Forget it
Did you two ever?
Have sex?
We're best friends and we work together
Impossible.
What about you?
You were heartbroken...?
No, my roommate, not me.
I thought it was you, and wanted to...
Steal my heart?
No...
to talk you through.
Are you out of your mind?
I'm your friend, why wouldn't I help?
When did I ever beg you for anything?
But I can't kiss you.
You don't have to, just let me kiss YOU.
The doctor says if I don't do this
everything else I've done is wasted.
Is that so?
I think it's working.
Don't you think I've changed?
Doesn't matter what I think.
What matters is what HE thinks.
So you're not going to help me?
Fine, just do it!
I can't, still can't...
Honestly, is he right for me?
Honestly?
I think... That gym teacher was right for you!
He was bald!
But he loved you!
Who knows who's right?
If you love him, then he's right for you.
When I first met Ray
I asked myself the same question.
And?
And...
If this stops you from loving him
you probably don't love him enough.
Why ask the question then?
Because you love him!
Wait... that doesn't make sense
Love...
never makes sense.
I want ice cream!
Ok...want to come in?
Did you...
see anything just now?
No.
Did you?
See anything?
No.
Let's stop pretending.
It's tiring.
What's wrong?
You want to shower?
You first.
Ok, I'm first.
G-U-C-C-I
juicy
Greetings, Mr. Bai!
You're waiting for Richard?
Well... it's complicated.
He's at my place right now.
Some things are hard to explain...
Hard for him to explain.
That's why I'm here.
He hopes you don't misunderstand.
Misunderstand?
Please tell Mr. Bai...
this kind of misunderstanding...
won't happen again.
Are you all right?
What did you say to him?
I said you're at my place
and don't misunderstand...
"Don't misunderstand"?
He's nuts if he doesn't!
You're the one who's nuts!
And make me clean up your mess!
As if I want to!
Then don't get involved!
What else did he say?
He said "Enough!".
That's it?
Hurry, I'll tell you later.
Did he say anything else?
Yes, he said
This misunderstanding won't happen again.
It's over.
If we miss the plane, we're both over!
Hurry up!
Great timing for a business trip!
Great timing to fall in love!
Hurry!
The number you're calling is turned off.
Please try again later.
He's not going to see me again.
What about you?
You want to see him again?
You know I do.
But he doesn't know that.
Why can't I be with
the one I love?
You're the one stopping yourself.
I can't take it.
Then don't fall in love.
Are you better off now?
Tien doesn't know our plan, right?
Don't worry...
I rented three DVDs for him
to watch and kill time.
They won't provoke him?
Don't worry.
They're all safe movies.
"The Ring" , "Bride of Chucky"
and "Freddy vs. Jason"
nothing to do with love!
Aren't these movies too scary?
Nothing's scarier than heartbreak!
Just my opinion.
Nothing can go wrong, right?
Unless Jason falls in love with Freddy.
Action!
Sorry... what do you want?
You lying bastard!
Speak Mandarin!
I said "are you ok?".
I said "I'm ok, it's cold".
Fine!
How's my make-up?
How's mine?
Tell us everything!
You!
Me?
Once upon a time
there was a legendary figure called
Bai Tieh Nan
also known as Mr. Irresistible.
His deadliest move was called
"Never Bed Twice".
Though many youths were warned
still they could not resist.
As always, Bai sleeps with them...
walks out, and never comes back.
But actually,
Bai's heartless behavior
is not without reason
It's because of many tragic events.
This child is cursed.
Whatever he loves will be doomed.
The fortune teller was right
His fish, his flowers, his first love
proved Bai's fate.
Whatever he loves
ends up with bad luck.
Eventually, to avoid this,
he became a serial one-night-stander
and lost the power to love.
Because of these events in the past
Bai is super superstitious.
But from a scientific point of view
this is a case of "fear of intimacy".
Whether it's fear or fate
I did one thing wrong.
You left him?
I fell in love with him and hurt him.
Cantonese again.
I'm calling Tien!
Welcome
You have reached Yu's
Love Shack of Do Re Mi.
Please leave your height weight
sign and blood type after "mi".
do...re...mi...
Tien!
We've captured Bai!
We don't understand what he's saying.
You better come and listen yourself!
Hello?
Tien!
He hates pain, he won't kill himself.
Maybe he's gone back south.
We'll be able to reach him later.
I think you're just a coward!
What's Fate got to do with it?
If you're afraid of getting hurt,
just damn admit it!
Don't blame Fate for your love problem!
And then mope about in regret!
Bai, let me tell you,
your life's not cursed!
It's your heart!
What am l, a doorbell?
Dear God, my name is Bai Tieh Nan.
I'm not religious, so I rarely pray.
There's a thing called Love in the world
but you must have courage to see it.
I never had it before, but now I do.
Please give me a chance.
I'm not greedy.
I'll count to 10... and give up.
1...2...3...4...
5...6...7...8...
9...10...
Tien!
What are they doing?
Just kiss him!
That's the way to go!
I have a problem!
I love you!
...you're crazy!
And I hate you!
Tien!
I found the answers to your questions.
sin2+cos2 equals one
The seven warring lords are...
Han, Zhao, Wei, Chu...
Yen, Chi, Chin
The 3 tenses of the word "love" are
Iove, love, love.
Don't you add "-ed"?
Shut up!
You see...
Even love can pass away.
But... we can run after it.
Run?
And chase it back.
My feet are tired.
I'll carry you.
Tien!
Bye bye virginity!
If you wanna be proud of being gay
and be all that you can be.
You gotta start living like one.
The first step-
Change outside, change inside.
You're still wearing grandpa's shorts?
You won't find a bed in Taipei!
Look, this is what it takes!